How can therapists help with the emotional impact of infertility and the ups and downs of IVF journey – Stress management techniques and mindfulness.
By Ana Brown B.A Psychology (she/her). Reviewed by Dr. Pascale Piron, Psy.D., M.A., LCPC (she/her).
March 18th, 2025.
For
most women, becoming a mother is just part of life, a natural cycle that happens organically and expectantly. Since we are little girls, societal pressures, family values instilled upon us during our upbringing, and personal goals have a huge influence on how a woman perceives motherhood. And to add pressure, women are expected to expect children. For most women, pregnancy happens easily, whether planned or a surprise. Unfortunately, motherhood does not happen easily for a lot of women and the emotional roller coaster associated with infertility and treatment can leave a lifetime of profound impact on a person’s or couple’s mental, physical, spiritual and financial life. How mental health can be affected by fertility challenges need to be addressed during this journey.
WHAT IS INFERTILITY:
The Cleveland Clinic defines infertility as:
Infertility is a condition where you can’t get pregnant after one year of trying to conceive.
Important to note that both men and women can contribute to infertility. John Hopkins Medicine lists the following as conditions that must be present for a pregnancy to develop:
- healthy male sperm count.
- women’s healthy eggs.
- Fallopian tubes must be opened to allow sperm to reach the egg.
- The sperm must be able to fertilize the egg.
- The fertilized egg must implant in the uterus.
- The embryo must be healthy.
CAUSES OF INFERTILITY:
Although polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)is the most common cause of infertility in women, there are other complex conditions associated with infertility in females:
- Ovulation disorders (absent or irregular ovulation).
- Uterine disorders (fibroids,endometriosis, and other uterine abnormalities).
- Damaged or blocked Fallopian tubes.
- Stds.
- Egg quality.
- Other causes: age, extreme and chronic stress, smoking, drug use, auto immune diseases and others).
In men, some causes of infertility can be listed as following but not limited to:
- Oligospermia(low sperm count).
- Hormonal imbalances.
- Stds.
- Congenial alterations.
- Lifestyle factors (smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, extreme chronic stress, obesity).
- chromosome defects.
Infertility is a complex condition to diagnose, since it can be caused not only by one but by a myriad of factors. Fortunately, there are many alternative paths to parenthood as well as efficient treatments. Your healthcare provider and a licensed therapist can provide the support needed to evaluate the best options available.
After a formal diagnosis of infertility, the next step is to consider what are the options available for conceiving either through IVF or other treatments. This journey has a tremendous impact on everyone involved. The diagnosis itself is a realization that parenthood may never happen. The pre conceived idea that a family must revolve around the birth of a child, puts an extra layer of pressure on the couple trying to conceive or single parents who choose to have children out of wedlock. In any case, it feels like a dream that may never come true. The effects on one’s mental health is inevitable.
In order to cope with the challenges associated with infertility, it is critical to gather support, not only family and friends, but a team of professionals that can guide clients to evaluate all feasible options available, such as IVF treatments, surrogacy, surgery or adoption. Whichever option taken, the importance of mental health support by a licensed therapist is fundamental. If your mental health is affected by your journey with infertility, then your parental skills will also be affected. Bringing a child into this world is already a huge undertake and becoming a new parent who is not ready psychologically, can deeply disrupt a moment which should only feel like a beautiful celebration of life.
Healing is a journey….
HOW CAN THERAPY HELP WITH STRESS MANAGEMENT DURING FERTILITY TREATMENTS:
Every individual or couple will react to a diagnosis of infertility in different ways. But studies show that the most common emotional reactions are:
* persistent feelings of:
- guilt
- anxiety
- emptiness
- depression
- disruption in the couple’s relationship
- loss of interest in previous liked activities
- anger
- fear of never being able to conceive
- grief
- social isolation
These intense feelings can also interfere with IVF treatment since a state of constant stress can release cortisol and other hormones which affect our overall health. Taking care of our mental health is the first step for achieving a healthier body.
A licensed therapist creates a safe space for individuals or couples experiencing stress from infertility to:
- Learn coping skills
- Practice relaxation techniques for stress relief
- Process negative feelings
- Evaluate options to parenthood
- Address grief
- Improve couple’s communication skills
- Offer extra support for the challenges, failures and successes associated with infertility diagnosis and treatment.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is commonly used to treat the psychological negative impact on individuals or couples dealing with infertility, by identifying negative thought patterns and reframing them into positive behaviors, leading to an improved healthier state of mind and well being.
Asking for help is sign of strength
The ongoing stress can be alleviated by having a licensed therapist available to help design a stress management plan during treatment which can also involve time for self-care, journaling, exercise, date night without discussing infertility, hobbies and different activities to take the focus from negative thoughts and bring the mind to focus on other positive aspects of the clients lives, develop a calendar for social activities and many other coping tools.
Find a licensed therapist here
There is no sugarcoating that a diagnosis of infertility can be devastating to individuals and couples.But we are never alone. Take a deep breath, remember that whether you move ahead with treatment, or an alternative path to parenthood or re-imagine your life perhaps without being a parent, you are in control of what your future can look like. The path to achieve a dream is never easy and not always the way we expected, but it is always worthy of all the lessons. You are not defined or more valuable by parenthood but by simply being you.
Be Brave.Be kind.Be well.
Always with love,
AB
HELPFUL LINKS:
Northwestern Medicine – How to support someone experiencing infertility
Understanding depression – Causes, symptoms and treatment – Ana Brown