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How To Set Healthy Boundaries Without Guilt – Effective Communication.

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The power of saying no with confidence and preserving your mental health – How can therapy help build self-respect, improve communication skills and strengthen your relationships.

By Ana Brown B.A. Psychology, Mental Health Content Writer. Reviewed by Dr. Pascale Piron, Psy.D., M.A., LCPC

I didn’t grow up in a gated community. My childhood home set in a busy street and it was quite common to have people come straight up to our doorstep and just ring the bell. It happened often and sometimes it disrupted a family meal, quiet time or homework. They came to the front door because there were no fences or gates to prevent them from crossing into our physical space, there were no boundaries. As an adult, I found myself moving into gated communities and buildings with 24/7 security. Although I feel safer physically, I sometimes still struggle with setting emotional boundaries in my personal relationships, also known as the art of saying no without guilt.

According to Oxford Languages Dictionary the literal definition of boundary is:

A line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.”

Although an emotional boundary is in theory an imaginary line, it can be set by words and behaviors in relationships. This imaginary line can be used to prevent someone from crossing into our physical and emotional spaces.

There are several types of boundaries necessary to protect our mental health, self-confidence and overall well-being.

TYPES OF BOUNDARIES:

  • Physical boundaries: It refers to your personal space, your body, your belongings, your home, your privacy, and your personal information.
  • Emotional boundaries: These boundaries are invisible lines that separate your own feelings, emotions, personal experiences, thoughts and needs from others.
  • Time boundaries: How one sets the amount of time and limits on how they spend their time alone and with others.
  • Intellectual boundaries: It determines how and how much of a person’s opinions, ideas or thoughts are shared or addressed in relationships and communication with others.
  • Financial: A set of limits and preferences relating to your financial life. How much to share with others, how much to save, spend or invest.

Most of us will experience anxiety and guilt during the process of setting boundaries with people we love or work with. It’s normal but not healthy. Boundaries are necessary steps we take to protect ourselves. To protect our well being. Not to hurt others.

HOW DO BOUNDARIES PROTECT US:

Like fences, walls and gates, boundaries protect us from unwanted situations or behaviors from others that negatively impact our mental health. Establishing boundaries with friends, family and work peers, can prevent heartaches and disappointments. By setting boundaries through clear communication and respect, we pave the way for healthier interactions with everyone in our lives.

BENEFITS FROM BOUNDARIES:

  • Reduces anxiety
  • Increases self-esteem
  • Decreases stress levels
  • Improves self-worth
  • Regulates emotions
  • Establishes mutual respect
  • Strengthening relationships
  • Prevents burnout and emotional exhaustion

If only setting boundaries was that easy. Unfortunately, most of us struggle with establishing limits in our relationships. There are several reasons why people experience difficulties with pushing back when feeling an emotional or physical space has been intruded. It’s called guilt.

WHY DO WE FEEL GUILTY ABOUT BOUNDARIES?

One of the strongest reason why most people feel guilty setting limits is the fear of upsetting others. We are taught from childhood to be nice to others all the time. It gives children mixed messages about when it is appropriate to accommodate other people’s feelings and needs and when this compromises our own mental health by neglecting our own feelings and needs.

In addition to the fear of upsetting others, several stressors can trigger discomfort and feelings of guilt while creating boundaries with others:

  • Internalized beliefs from childhood – household with no boundaries.
  • Feeling responsible for people’s feelings or problems
  • Fear of losing the relationship
  • Fear of abandonment ( people will leave if I establish limits)tip

HOW TO SAY NO WITHOUT GUILT:

Even if saying no can cause discomfort, creating a safe space for yourself is crucial for the preservation of not only your mental health but possibly the preservation of a relationship that otherwise would fail if limits were not established.

Some tips on how to create boundaries:

  • Identify the situations in which your space has been crossed.
  • Define your emotional, physical and mental limits
  • Clearly communicate how you feel and your expectations on how the situation should be corrected.
  • Use “I” statements.
  • Be prepared for a push back by accepting we do not control other people’s reactions to our decisions.
  • Be self-compassionate – your feelings and needs are just as important as everyone else’s.
  • Be consistent
  • Give time for the new relationship format to evolve to a healthier dynamic.

HOW CAN THERAPY HELP CLIENTS LEARN HOW TO ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES:

If setting boundaries create additional stressors on your mental health, perhaps seeking professional help is another way you can develop skills on how to set clear limits in your relationships.

Some of the reasons why therapy is an important resource to learn mental health strategies and tools:

  • Safe space to explore root causes preventing a client from establishing boundaries.
  • It reduces anxiety, resentment and anger.
  • Increases self-confidence and empowers clients to create limits in their relationships.
  • Strengthen relationships by teaching the importance of mutual respect.
  • Prevent emotional exhaustion.
  • Improves communication skills

CLEAR RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION IS THE BEST WAY TO ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES.

Schedule an appointment

Healthy boundaries are essential for mental health well-being. They exist to protect us from emotional, physical, mental and financial harm. Without limits, we cannot co-exist in rewarding and loving relationships. It starts with the person cutting in line at the grocery store, with someone being disrespectful in traffic or a loved one who is not recognizing your emotional and physical space. It’s impossible for us to know exactly how the other person feels about a situation unless it’s cleared communicated. Boundaries can save lives, relationships and even our jobs.

During a flight many years ago, I had a very scary moment when turbulence hit the plane hard. I remember the oxygen masks falling from the plane panels and the guilt I felt by placing the mask over my face first before placing on my child’s. The flight attendant was clearly and firmly instructing us to take care of ourselves before helping others. This is what boundaries do. Boundaries are self-care, they preserve your mental health for you to feel confident and safe in your relationships. It’s not a selfish act, it’s a safety measure.

Boundaries are walls that preserve our souls intact.

Be kind. Be brave. Be well.

Always with love,

Ana Brown

Ana Brown is a Mental Health Content Writer.
She holds a B.A. in Psychology, is fluent in English,
Portuguese and Spanish. She’s a published author,
filmmaker and a songwriter. Ana believes words can heal.
Live your best life.

Ana Brown

HELPFUL LINKS:

Emerge Psychology Group

National Library of Medicine

American Psychological Association

DISCLAIMER:

The content of these webpages and blogs and information provided is for general informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Seek professional help immediately if you are experiencing a mental health crisis or any other medical condition.

HOW THERAPY HELPS MEN WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH-THE PATH TO EMOTIONAL HEALING.

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Breaking the stigma around men and mental health. What to expect in therapy: a guide for men new to mental health support.

By Ana Brown B.A Psychology, Mental Health Content Writer. Reviewed by Dr. Pascale Piron, Psy.D., M.A.., LCPC.

May 20th, 2025.

One of my favorite songs as a teenager was “Boys Don’t Cry” (1979) by the band The Cure . Although the melody is very upbeat, the song tells a sad story about a boy going through a breakup and is really confused about what to do to get the girl back. In this song, we can clearly see how the lyrics reflect an entire culture of men who are going through emotional distress but yet are not allowed to show emotions and instead “try to laugh about it hiding the tears in my eyes” as Robert Smith so cleverly wrote. The expectations society has always placed on men, to be always brave and courageous in the face of adversity or danger, has brought men an incredible and heavy amount of emotional burden. And although we have evolved in the mental health field, the majority of men still struggle with the idea of therapy as the primary source of support. It’s the dangerous misconception that showing emotion during difficult times and asking for help is a sign of weakness rather than courage.

Research shows that the prevalence of any mental health illness (defined as a mental, behavioral or emotional disorder) in women is higher than in men. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that “in 2022 there were 59.3 million adults age 18 or older in the United States with AMI (Any Mental Illness), representing 23.1% of all U.S. adults.” the observed prevalence was 26.4% for females and 19.7% for males.

Societal expectations may be the reason why these numbers show higher statistics for females than males. Men have been raised in societies which pressure them to show independence and strength at all times, this can lead to suppressed emotions and the courage to seek professional help while experiencing mental health challenges. These reports may not accurately reflect the number of men in our society today in need of mental health support and going through emotional stress alone.

Men experience the same mental struggles we all do, yet, some of the warning signs of depression in men may look different. They should feel comfortable enough to seek professional help when feeling overwhelmed and in need of support.

Only by accepting pain that healing becomes possible.

Photo by Cotton bro studio.

According to Harvard Health Here are some common warning signs men may present while experiencing mental health conditions:

  • Changes in sleep and appetite
  • Changes in work performance
  • Aggression
  • Headaches
  • Stomach Aches
  • Fatigue
  • Social isolation
  • Increased consumption of alcohol or drugs
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Anger
  • Irritability
  • Risky behaviors

Men are more likely to avoid or delay seeking professional help, which can greatly contribute for increased mental illnesses. In general, most men prefer not to openly discuss their emotions or mental health issues, but it doesn’t mean that they are handling well on their own. It’s just a reflection of the self-stigma and society stigma associated with men looking for a therapist to discuss private matters and feeling incapable of dealing with their own emotions.

There is always help available. The ideas of what masculinity represents in our society have conditioned not only men but their communities to struggle to recognize the signs of mental illness in the male population.

The most common psychological disorders in men include but are not limited to:

HOW CAN THERAPY HELP MEN WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH:

Therapy can help men have a better understanding of who they are and be more in touch with their feelings and emotions without shame or guilt. Therapists create a safe space for clients to discover healthy ways to cope with depression, anxiety, physical conditions or any other life stressors that may affect their mental health.

Benefits from therapy that may be a game changer:

  • Better self-awareness
  • Better understanding of their emotions
  • Anger management
  • coping skills for anxiety and depression
  • Improves relationships
  • Enhances communicating skills
  • Boosts self-esteem
  • Builds resilience
  • Improvements in physical health
  • Promotes healthy understanding of masculinity

Find a therapist here

TYPES OF MALE-FRIENDLY THERAPY APPROACHES FOR MEN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): It focuses on a person’s feelings, emotions and thinking patterns. It discusses how negative thinking impacts client’s behaviors and mental health. Men can benefit from this approach by exploring their emotions more in depth and replacing negative thinking with positive behaviors.
  • Psychotherapy: This type of therapy engages with client’s past and helps them discover underlying causes for negative thinking and behaviors. It focuses on the root causes of mental disorders while giving clients coping skills for improved mental health.
  • Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy: In some cases, this approach, which relies on the methodology of mindfulness, can alleviate symptoms of stress and anxiety by focusing on breathing techniques and meditation. It may be an option for men who do not feel comfortable in traditional types of therapies.

Your mental health is a priority.

Schedule appointment

It’s time that we change the narrative that men do not need help. We are all equal parts of a society that needs all of us mentally fit to face our daily challenges together. Men should not suffer alone because we as a community cannot recognize the signs of depression or anxiety in them.

There is a strong transformative potential in therapy when addressing mental health issues faced by men. It’s time to challenge old narratives, stigmas and outdated concepts which exclude some groups from the benefits of having such valuable support such as therapy which can bring resilience into men’s emotional healing journey.

The new generations seem to understand that mental health is a vital part of our overall health and it should be treated as priority. This generational shift brings light to the importance of men embracing their freedom to express their feelings and to ask for help. By helping men manage their emotions, therapy can bring them from anger to insight.

None of us need to walk alone in our paths to emotional healing. There is nothing more human than feeling vulnerable and comfortable enough to receive love, support and connection. Stigmas and stereotypes prevent society from evolving to its best self.

Boys can cry. We can all cry. It’s natural, it’s beautiful and it’s healing.

Be kind. Be brave. Be well.

Always with love,

Ana Brown

Ana Brown is a Mental Health Content Writer.
She holds a B.A in Psychology, is a published
author, lyricist and Film Producer, Ana is fluent
in English, Portuguese and Spanish. Ana believes
in the power of words in our healing journey,
Live your best life.

Ana Brown

HELPFUL LINKS:

Emerge Psychology Group

National Institute of Health

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services

Anxiety and Depression Association

Suicide and Crisis Line: Call 988 or text 988

DISCLAIMER:

The content of these webpages and blogs and information provided is for general information and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical or mental health condition. Seek professional help immediately if you are experiencing a mental health crisis or any other medical condition.

Somatic Approaches to Relieving Anxiety and Healing PTSD: Role of Myofascial Release.

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The power of Myofascial Release therapeutic techniques – Emotional healing for the body and mind by reconnecting and calming the nervous system.

By Ana Brown B.A. Psychology, Mental Health Content Writer. Reviewed by Dr. Pascale Piron, Psy.D., M.A., LCPC

May 20th, 2025.

My Dad was an amazing oral surgeon and a very intuitive doctor. Although specialized in a specific area of the body, he never really saw any of his patients conditions as an isolated issue. He treated the body as a connected system and not as isolated parts. He cared deeply for his patients and had great bedside manners by giving them extra time to process fear and decrease stress; in turn their bodies responded by feeling less physical pain. He knew everything in our system is connected and cannot function properly if one area is affected. I learned from him that our emotional experiences and how we process them can directly affect how our bodies physiologically respond, it’s the body and mind connection reaction chain. Our whole system, body and mind, is connected and trying to function in harmony. Think of an orchestra with all musicians working together to perform a song perfectly, but if one musician fails the whole performance is affected. This is what they myofascial system is to our body, a bridge that connects organs, muscles , bones and nerve fibers.

According to the National Library of Medicine the fascia is defined as:

The Fascia is made up of solid (muscles) and liquid(blood, lymph) elements and components. The myofascial system comprises muscle tissue and connective tissue. There are other fascial organizations within the myofascial system, such as the nervous system and vascular tissue and the lymphatic system. Nervous tissue and the resulting terminations are fasciae. The myofascial system can be a source of pain and functional limitations by creating symptomatic pictures that are not always clear and easy to frame.”

When we experience trauma, anxiety, depression or any life event that affect our mental health, our bodies respond with a set of physical symptoms, indicating it’s time to get help. These symptoms include but are not limited to: headaches, fatigue, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, muscle tension, aches or pains.

WHAT IS MYOFASCIAL RELEASE THERAPY:

Myofascial Release therapy is a manual technique used to release tension in the fascia (connective tissue) that surrounds muscles, organs and nerves. The therapist uses their hands to locate and release trigger points applying gentle pressure. It improves mobility in several areas including legs, shoulders, neck, arms and back.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRADITIONAL MASSAGE AND MYOFASCIAL RELEASE :

While both techniques focus in general on relaxing muscle tension, traditional massage uses different strokes such as effleurage (long gliding strokes) and strong pressure kneading including the use of oil and lotions; MFR Myofascial massage applies more of a gentle pressure in specific points of the body releasing tension in the fascia (connective tissue around muscles and bones). Another difference is in the main purpose of both techniques, the main purpose of traditional massage is to promote relaxation and reduce levels of stress, while myofascial release targets the restriction in the fascia causing pain and limitation in our range of motion.

WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM MYOFASCIAL RELEASE THERAPY:

According to the Cleveland Clinic people experiencing the following conditions may benefit from Myofascial Release Therapy:

  • Physical trauma:car accidents, neck strain or common falls.
  • Scarring: frozen shoulder, burns or surgery.
  • Inflammation: bursitis, osteoarthritis or plantar fasciitis (heel pain).
  • Compressed nerves: herniated disks or carpal tunnel syndrome.
  • Repetitive stress injuries: heavy lifting, poor posture, athletic injuries.
  • Low back pain.
  • Temporomandibular joint (TMJ)disorder.
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Chronic headaches

Stephen Wuest owner of Enlightened Body in Chicago, IL is a licensed massage therapist with 30 years of experience and 8 years in Myofascial Release technique. In addition to his license, Stephen was a monk for 14 years and has completed a traditional 3 year meditation retreat. He brings a wealth of knowledge to his holistic approach to healing the mind and body with Myofascial Release Therapy. He explains how does Myofascial Release Massage calms the nervous system:

When we’re stressed, anxious, or angry, our breath becomes shallow, our muscles tighten, and our minds feel scattered. From my Buddhist training, I’ve learned how closely the breath and mind are linked and how vital it is to reconnect. Myofascial Release supports this reconnection by calming the nervous system. It helps shift us from the fight-or-flight stress response into a state of rest and healing. In this relaxed state, we’re better able to breathe deeply, feel more grounded , and truly listen to what our bodies are telling us. Many of us go through life disconnected from our physical selves, not realizing how daily stress and repetitive movements quietly shape our discomfort. But in this work, I often see clients grow more aware. They begin to sense what their bodies need, and they naturally start adjusting the habits that create pain. That’s when healing begins.”

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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRADITIONAL MASSAGE AND MYOFASCIAL RELEASE :

While both techniques focus on in general in relaxing muscle tension, traditional massage uses different strokes such as effleurage (long gliding strokes) and strong pressure kneading including the use of oil and lotions; MFR Myofascial massage applies more of a gentle pressure in specific points of the body releasing tension in the fascia (connective tissue around muscles and bones). Another difference is in the main purpose of both techniques, the main purpose of traditional massage is to promote relaxation and reduce stress levels, while myofascial release targets the restriction in the fascia causing pain and limitation in our range of motion.

WHAT IS SOMATIC EXPERIENCING (SE):

Developed by Dr. Peter Levine a world renowned psychotherapist and researcher, Somatic Experiencing is a therapeutic approach that helps us release trauma by awareness of our bodily sensations and emotions. This type of therapy increases resilience and promotes a better sense of safety. Somatic Experiencing is often used in conjunction with Myofascial Release to relax the nervous system by releasing physical and emotion tension caused by trauma.

There is no denying that although stress and trauma may be processed in our minds, our bodies also produce significant physiological responses to these events. Sometimes we ignore what our bodies are trying to communicate to us, through physical illnesses, aches and pains. We rush to quick fixes that in the end may actually result in more ailments.

We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on the mind, brain and body.” Bessel Van Der Kolk

We can’t avoid the common stresses in life, but we can listen to our bodies and seek professional help when it gets overwhelming. Healing doesn’t feel the same for everyone, but trauma does affect all of us. Don’t go through it alone. We are all connected. Let go of the pain by releasing the past and focusing on the best is yet to come.

Be kind. Be brave. Be well.

Ana Brown

Ana Brown is a Mental Health Content Writer.
She holds a B.A. in Psychology, is fluent in English,
Portuguese and Spanish. She is also a film producer,
published author, and a lyricist. Ana believes in
the power of words in our healing journey to a
healthier mind and body connection.
Live your best life.

Ana Brown

HELPFUL LINKS:

Emerge Psychology Group

National Library of Medicine

American Psychological Association

Myofascial Release ball set – Point Release

DISCLAIMER:

The content of these webpages and blogs and information provided is for general informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Seek professional help immediately if you are experiencing a mental health crisis or any other medical condition.