Ana Brown

Breathing deeper – best ways to cope with anxiety during stressful times

by Ana Brown, mental health content writer, B.A Psychology. Reviewed by Dr. Pascale Piron, Psy.D., M.A., LCPC.

I seriously cannot remember a time in my life when I can honestly say I did not experience anxiety at some level. I hope you can, but if you feel that you and I may share some of the same symptoms of anxiety, during stressful times, then this blog is for you, from my heart to yours.

The great news is that, today, we have many different options readily available to us; to treat anxiety related symptoms and help you deal with changes in life, especially the unpredictable ones and live a more fulfilling life without worrying if you will have an anxiety attack while attending your child school piano recital, or pass out while saying your wedding vowels. I can’t say that I passed out at my wedding, but I can assure you that stress related generalized anxiety disorder robbed me of many amazing moments in my life, where I could not be emotionally present or my physical anxiety symptoms made it impossible for me to fully enjoy myself as I deserved. Let’s dig deeper into how to manage anxiety symptoms and how to live with anxiety every day according to mental health professionals.

According to the Mayo Clinic “anxiety is a symptom of a stress response.”

“Anxiety may be a piece of the puzzle, but not the whole picture”
Ana Brown

Well, in today’s society it’s pretty much impossible to live without stress, reasonably speaking. But mental health professionals believe it is possible to try and manage your stress levels and subsequently anxiety as a response. We can learn how to identify anxiety triggers, recognize when an anxiety attack is about to happen, learn self-care for anxiety, along with coping strategies for anxiety and learn when to seek professional treatment for anxiety. A good start is creating an anxiety management plan. Planning for me, it’s like drinking water. Essential. And yes, planning ahead does reduce stress levels.

COMMON SYMPTOMS OF GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER INCLUDES BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO:

* Excessively worrying about daily issues

*Trouble relaxing

*Startle easily

*Fatigue

*Headaches, muscle aches, or unexplained aches

*Difficulties in concentrating

*Excessive sweating

*Irritability

*School or work underperformance

*Racing heart beats

*Changes in breathing patterns (shallow breathing)

These are just some of the common anxiety symptoms, but every individual has their own set of anxiety indicators. Some people may have specific types of anxiety related to specific situations. I have experienced different types of anxiety, in different times in my life. As circumstances change, stress levels go up or down, anxiety can subside or increase. I love routine and, in some instances, routine is just not possible, hence the importance of creating an anxiety management plan to keep yourself in a healthy functional pattern. Techniques and strategies designed by mental health care providers can prevent anxiety symptoms from escalating to a debilitating stage.

CREATING AN ANXIETY MANAGEMENT PLAN:

FOCUS ON YOURSELF: List 5 positive traits (ex: kindness, integrity, generosity) you like about yourself. Remembering who we are, helps us get centered and ready to identify our anxiety triggers. Self-empowerment is crucial in helping us get through anxiety symptoms. If you know who you are, you may develop more self-control during anxiety or panic attacks, decreasing the intensity of negative feelings and symptoms associated with anxiety disorders.
IDENTIFYING YOUR TRIGGERS: this is one of the most effective ways to start managing your anxiety symptoms before their onset. You cannot stop a car without the breaks. Pay attention to your pattern of thinking prior to an anxiety attack. Keep a record of what were your thoughts, places and perhaps conversations that happened prior to recognizing the onset of an anxiety attack.
LEARN BREATHING EXERCISES FOR ANXIETY: One very common breathing exercise for anxiety, that you can actually do daily regardless of when you find yourself exposed to one of your anxiety triggers. The 4 8 7 technique, inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds. This may help you regulate your breathing patterns that get disrupted during anxiety attacks.
HEALTHY DIET TO EASE ANXIETY: Studies https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-strategies-to-ease-anxiety-201604139441by and others, have shown that a diet rich in high protein, (if you don’t have any dietary restrictions), veggies, fruits and some specific foods such as seeds, nuts, whole grains and so many others, can boost the release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, regulating “feel good” feelings, moods and emotions.
YOGA FOR ANXIETY RELIEF: The control breathing and postures, promote a deep connection between body and mind. If you are into yoga, the Pranayama breathing technique utilizing deep diaphragmatic breathing can stimulate the vagus nerve and consequently calm your nervous system.
CREATE AN EMERGENCY LIST: This helped me so much, when I realized I was not alone, and I could reach for help in case of an emergency. Feeling connected with family and friends can enhance your community resources and reduce the feelings of isolation. Your inner circle can make a huge difference on your stress levels.

In addition to the self – care plan, according to experts there are many different specific and effective techniques that can be used to overcoming generalized anxiety disorder. These are often used during an anxiety attack and can significantly reduce the symptoms.

GROUNDING TECHNIQUES FOR COPING WITH ANXIETY EVERY DAY:

54321 TECHNIQUE: Once you have recognized the symptoms of anxiety creeping in, after understanding what triggers your stress, you may use this common technique which suggests you identify 5 things you can hear, 4 things you can see, 3 things you can touch while sitting, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. These steps will ground you in the present moment and help you shift your focus from intrusive thoughts to your actual and real surroundings.
333 RULE: If you feel that 54321 may not be the best fit during an anxiety or panic attack, you may try the 333 Rule which is similar but involves moving your body. You name 3 things you can see, 3 sounds you can hear and move 3 parts of your body (move your arms or legs or reach out to objects around you). As it may not eliminate all your symptoms, it may calm you down until you can ask for help.

WHEN TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP FOR ANXIETY DISORDERS

If your anxiety symptoms are preventing you from living your normal life, performing your daily tasks at work, at home, creating isolation, it’s time to search for a professional health care provider to help you start your plan to manage anxiety symptoms and reduce stress levels.

If you can’t fight stress because it’s just part of your life, learning to embrace and accept what is possible at this time, with the help of your community and/or a health care professional, it will only improve your journey and restore some peace in your heart. You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out to people you trust, there is no embarrassment in accepting that worrying is part of the human condition. The trick is learning what truly deserves our full attention, the “pick your battles” mode. We all deserve to live according to our personal standards for happiness and fulfillment.

Learning to let go of your past or the need to control your future, will bring you to a state of mindfulness where you can finally breath deeper.

Be well. Be safe. Be yourself.

Always with love,

I am safe.

I am resilient.

I am peaceful.

Ana Brown is an Inspirational Mental Health Content Writer
with a B.A in Psychology by the University
of Memphis, TN. She is fluent in English and Portuguese and
believes we can empower and heal each other.

Ana Brown

Helpful links:

EMERGE PSYCHOLOGICAL GROUP: Emerge Psychological Group

The National Institute of Mental Health: The National Institute of Mental Health

National Mental Health Anxiety Hotline: (866)903-3787

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After The Storm – The Healing Journey from Trauma

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As I pour my morning coffee into my favorite mug, another alert shows up on my phone screen. My heart races again like a wild horse on a prairie without direction. The fear of the unknown is back, and it feels so real. I have everything ready to go, but for some reason, my feet are stuck to the floor, and I can’t figure which step to take next.

My bags are still packed laying on my bedroom floor for days now. I am anxiously waiting for the local authorities to let us know if the wind will spread the wildfire even closer to my home. My area zip code is under evacuation warnings and my stress levels are unbearable at this point. My emotions are confusing and as hard to identify as a child learning how to read for the first time. For a moment, I have flashbacks of my dad packing his bags to leave us when I was only 8 years old. The terrifying fear of the unexpected, the impending doom of a dark future ahead. The alerts continue, and I feel a bit dizzy, frantically trying to choose what else to bring with me, just to realize that my most precious possessions will not fit in my suitcase. They are the people who I love. I am now in a familiar frozen state of fear, afraid to make the wrong decision, to wait for the final evacuation order or just go. Terrified again of the unknown, sweaty palms and nausea adding to the fear of losing my home and everything I worked so hard to have.

We all experience moments like this in our lifetime, and as unfortunate and tragic some of these may be, creating what the mental health field classifies as trauma, the negative feelings resulting from these experiences do not have to prevent us from being able to function in our future daily lives. I have learned that accepting that a traumatic event did happen to me, helped me tremendously on my journey to healing. That was my first step moving forward, and eventually I utilized every single resource that was within my reach. That is after I reached a very difficult emotional stage in my life. From psychotherapy to self-help books and podcasts, to reaching out to family and friends who I trusted, I fought for my inner child who desperately needed attention. The awareness of my pain led me to the start of mending my soul. Note that it was a start, I don’t think we ever finish our spiritual growth, we are always a work in progress. You cannot recover from an illness, if you are not aware you are sick. Trauma doesn’t make us stronger; it makes us wiser. And although the pain does subside, and this is great news, the scars will always be there, reminding us, that healing is possible.

According to the American Psychological Association https://www.apa.org one of the responses to trauma is avoidant behaviors, which in contrast, instead of helping us forget what happened, it just triggers the brain to keep those negative feelings in the front of our minds, as continuous alerts, to the possible similar threats to our well-being, making it very difficult to heal from the pain and sorrow from our past traumatic events. Feeling trapped in my own negative thoughts was exhausting and every time I faced a new challenging situation, I found myself reverting back to despair, fear and the “feet stuck to the ground” mode. Have I had a chance to work through my feelings at the time I was going through some of these events, perhaps, I would have developed more tools sooner to deal with the unexpected in life. I just didn’t want to resolve what I thought was unresolvable, instead I kept moving fast and forward, avoiding the past. But in my case, it did catch up with me, and when it did, I had no other choice but to face head on. I am grateful for all the lessons; I am proud of all my scars.

Let the storm wash away your fears…

The National Center for PTSD https://wwwptsd.va.gov also lists several common reactions to trauma events experienced by any individual, but I don’t want to get too technical here. Some of them I have experienced myself, and still do at times, such as irritability, anxiety, nausea, headaches, heart palpitations and the list go on. For years I was desperately seeking a way out of my pattern of behaviors that were just compounding on my already complex childhood history, causing more and more distress. I just wanted to feel good about myself. It’s that simple. I wanted to take deep breaths and feel safe. But I couldn’t, I was living in the present physically, but emotionally I was still living in my past. Unresolved trauma only creates more trauma. Period. There are so many of us, suffering from trauma and the long-lasting effects. But it’s never too late to look for help. Never too late.

After many years of hard emotional and spiritual inner work to find my self-worth, I was finally able to recognize the signs and triggers that were always sending me alerts, of possible threats, and I realized that a lot of them, were false alarms causing panic and dysfunctional reactions to situations that were actually not a threat. These all stemmed from unresolved trauma. I learned that we have to reset our internal alert system after traumatic events. Sweeping the dust under the rug will not keep your floors clean in the long run.

Every one of us deals with pain differently, but here are some common and positive steps that were essential on my journey to healing, we all deserve to live physically, mentally and emotionally full healthy lives:

Community: Surround yourself with people who lift you up, cheer for you and are trustworthy. I call them my love warriors.
Healthy Diet: Easier said than done, but we have no choice, if you are planning to feel good and happier life, start by taking care of your body. Stock up on nutritious foods that give boost your energy and immune system.
Exercise: Choose activities you enjoy, whether you go for a walk alone or with your favorite poochie, keep your body moving.
Journaling: I prefer pen and paper, but you can go digital. Most importantly, is putting on paper or screen all the feelings you need to let go. Research shows that journaling can improve mental health.
Psychotherapy: It’s impossible to list the numerous benefits of psychotherapy. The connection with a trained professional who can help you see the road ahead and shine light on all the options available for your own journey to a wholesome life, is simply priceless.

Life hits hard sometimes, really hard, and unexpected storms come our way. You find your “feet stuck to the ground”, over and over again. You see the debris and dust that have been brought to your front yard, and you don’t know if you will ever be able to clean the mess. Once the storm passes, they always do, gather your best people, your love warriors, your strongest tools and get to work.

Embrace the storm and let the water wash your fears away.

” The best way out is always through” Robert Frost

Always with love,

Ana Brown

Helpful links:

Emerge Psychology Group: https://emergepg.com

American Psychological Association https://www.apa.org

National Center for PTSD: https://www.ptsd.va.gov

National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov

The Importance of grieving when loss happens.

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How many times have you heard someone tell you: “get over it!” or “It’s time to move on!”, when you just experienced a deeply disheartening loss?

The sad truth is, most of us, get really uncomfortable when dealing with someone else’s pain. Whether we don’t know how to help, don’t have the right words or simply what happened to them hits home with us and it triggers a memory you just don’t want to remember. And you sit and stare in a panic, because you feel compassionated or obligated to say something and make a situation better right away. We all been there. We are all afraid of pain.

One of the definitions of grief, is “deep sorrow”. And we are wired to feel it for a purpose. I compare grief to taking a shower. We take showers to clean up, ease aches and pains or simply relax from stress. Why are we so afraid of grief? Often, I’ve seen friends and family get stuck in chronic depression or funky moods after the loss of a loved one, or a job or even a dream that didn’t come true. Grief becomes part of their identity and sometimes it’s mistaken for a personality trait. But if you dig deeper, often, that person was not allowed or could not feel they had the right to grieve their losses at the time that it happened and find themselves years later still dealing with all sorts of mental health issues. Some of these issues even become physical health issues.

Recently, I lost my dad to Covid, and in the midst of that excruciating pain, I still felt the need to let everyone know I was ok, when in reality I was in a really dark place. I didn’t want to face those scary feelings, after all you only lose a father once, and I couldn’t figure out how to keep those awful foreign emotions from coming. But this incredible friend I have, drove two hours to be with me and my daughter on the day of his passing, and instead of telling me what to do, how to feel or that everything was going to be all right, she sat quietly next to me, and let me cry until I had no more tears. It was the shower I needed. No pressure to fake that I was strong, since in that moment I was just a little girl who lost her hero and protector forever. Let the tears come and fall down. Let your emotions flourish and be acknowledged and the pain accepted. Like when you have a virus, that you just have to let it run its course, and all you need is some hot tea and love.

Let’s allow ourselves and others to just feel the pain, the loss, the panic and sadness during difficult times. Comforting someone can be shown in so many ways and not pressuring ourselves or loved ones to rush through grief can be the very best ailment and gift you can give others and yourself.

Along with self-awareness it is also important that all of us practice self-love and self-care during stress and grief. Here are some ideas and routines that may help you stay focused and strong during these challenging times specially if you are a caregiver to your family or others.

Journaling: Writing down your feelings on a journal can alleviate your heart from heavy emotions and help you track your progress. If you feel that after a while you are not improving, it’s time to look for professional help in your area or online. There are incredible resources for grieving. Links will be attached at the bottom .
Memory Box: when you lose someone you love, you don’t lose the memories, you can keep them alive by making videos, or photo albums of all the moments you shared together. Collect memorabilia and personal items that remind you of your loved one. A ticket of a special trip you took together, a piece of jewelry or a book you both enjoyed.
Spa Day: If this is an option for you, do it! a nice and relaxing massage can help your body relax and eliminate toxins that are released in our bloodstream when we experience sadness and stress increasing the levels of cortisol. A little “me time” is very important to give you a break and help you take a breath before going back to activities that before were just part of your routine, but now feel like overwhelming. Even doing dishes can be a tough chore during grieving. There are plenty of great Spa chains out there or even a charming and special neighborhood spa and nail salon.
Alone Time: If you are like me, I prefer to be quiet when the pain comes, and I feel this overwhelming sadness. Because it gets hard to stay focused or interested in conversations, when I would rather watch tv, read, listen to music or simply sit quietly until I feel social again. During this time, it’s very important to not feel pressured to accept invitations to social gatherings or events that can send you in a panic mode and make you feel like you have to act normal or even smile when all you want to do is cry. This is about recovering, not pleasing others while you are weak and vulnerable.
Travel: People grieve in so many different ways, and there is no such a thing as right or wrong. Some prefer to stay home and nest, while others take the first flight available to “as far as possible” location from the place they experienced loss. Traveling can actually help to change scenarios a bit and give your heart a break by seeing different places or cultures, eat different foods and try and have a little fun. And yes, it’s ok to have moments of fun even in the middle of bereavement. It’s called survival.
Meditation: Mornings can be quite challenging for people suffering from depression due to the loss of a loved one. Starting your day with a clear mind and a light heart can help you face the tough day ahead and give you a calmer mindset. Find a quiet place to meditate or you can do while still lying on your bed. I use guided meditations on YouTube, and it has helped me tremendously by setting a positive tone for the day.
Therapy: I understand this option is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it is still the most important one in my view. As a former counselor, I cannot imagine going through all the losses I went through in my life without that kind of support. A therapist can help you navigate the incredibly difficult myriad of emotions that come with loss in a non-judgmental way and point you in the right direction to recovery utilizing the right resources available. One day you feel normal and all of a sudden, you’re back down in the dumps. And your family may also be mourning and not professionally trained to give you medical advice. There are plenty of non-profits and private practices that can help.
Cooking: For some reason, I find a lot of solitude in cooking. I prefer to cook alone and while I am gathering ingredients I am focused on task and excited about the outcome, especially if I’m cooking a new recipe. It’s also a great form of self-love since healthy foods are crucial to fight depression, anxiety and insomnia, all very common during stressful times. If you like cooking, this can be a great outlet for stress, whether you do it alone or gather a few people you love for fun night of homemade pizza and ice cream and a feelgood movie.
Pray: In the best seller book and movie ” Eat, Love and Pray” by Melissa Gilbert, there is quote I love: “Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.”. Praying can give you strength, clarity and the freedom you deserve to mourn, feel sad and use this time to get closer to a higher spiritual power. Perhaps renew your faith and feel closer to the one you lost and our Creator.
Plant a Tree: The thought of death, brings awful feelings of ending. The finality of it is quite disturbing for most of us. The idea that you will never see that person again is simply devastating. A friend of mine who lost her mother a few years ago, decided to plant a Jasmine Tree in her back yard, in honor of her mom who loved the smell of Jasmine flowers. When the missing of her mom would become unbearable, she would sit under the tree and chat with her mom as if she could still hear her. It gave her a sense of something palpable and real. Something tangible to remind her of the times she spent at a park with her mother when she was little.If this is an option for you, choose a tree or plant that may have a connection to your loved one.
Donate: Donating your time or money to your loved one’s favorite nonprofit may give you that great feeling of continuity. Continuing one’s work or beliefs can keep us incredibly connected emotionally and happy that although they are gone, their passion for an idea or cause will live forever. Some families take it to the next level and create foundations in honor of their lost ones, leaving a trail of love and compassion, and legacy.

Remember the several stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance, and don’t just go through them, GROW through them, understand how powerful you are and how crucial it is, to be kind to yourself and patient with your heart.

I leave you with love and gratitude.

Please visit my website for products with motivational and positive messages:

https://ab2designstudio.com/ – AB2 DesignsStudio

Grief and Bereavement Resources | Memorial Hermann

https://www.compassionatefriends.org/

https://www.michaels.com/

https://www.hobbylobby.com/