Breaking the stigma around men and mental health. What to expect in therapy: a guide for men new to mental health support.
By Ana Brown B.A Psychology, Mental Health Content Writer. Reviewed by Dr. Pascale Piron, Psy.D., M.A.., LCPC.
May 20th, 2025.
One of my favorite songs as a teenager was “Boys Don’t Cry” (1979) by the band The Cure . Although the melody is very upbeat, the song tells a sad story about a boy going through a breakup and is really confused about what to do to get the girl back. In this song, we can clearly see how the lyrics reflect an entire culture of men who are going through emotional distress but yet are not allowed to show emotions and instead “try to laugh about it hiding the tears in my eyes” as Robert Smith so cleverly wrote. The expectations society has always placed on men, to be always brave and courageous in the face of adversity or danger, has brought men an incredible and heavy amount of emotional burden. And although we have evolved in the mental health field, the majority of men still struggle with the idea of therapy as the primary source of support. It’s the dangerous misconception that showing emotion during difficult times and asking for help is a sign of weakness rather than courage.
Research shows that the prevalence of any mental health illness (defined as a mental, behavioral or emotional disorder) in women is higher than in men. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that “in 2022 there were 59.3 million adults age 18 or older in the United States with AMI (Any Mental Illness), representing 23.1% of all U.S. adults.” the observed prevalence was 26.4% for females and 19.7% for males.
Societal expectations may be the reason why these numbers show higher statistics for females than males. Men have been raised in societies which pressure them to show independence and strength at all times, this can lead to suppressed emotions and the courage to seek professional help while experiencing mental health challenges. These reports may not accurately reflect the number of men in our society today in need of mental health support and going through emotional stress alone.
Men experience the same mental struggles we all do, yet, some of the warning signs of depression in men may look different. They should feel comfortable enough to seek professional help when feeling overwhelmed and in need of support.
Only by accepting pain that healing becomes possible.
Photo by Cotton bro studio.
According to Harvard Health Here are some common warning signs men may present while experiencing mental health conditions:
- Changes in sleep and appetite
- Changes in work performance
- Aggression
- Headaches
- Stomach Aches
- Fatigue
- Social isolation
- Increased consumption of alcohol or drugs
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Anger
- Irritability
- Risky behaviors
Men are more likely to avoid or delay seeking professional help, which can greatly contribute for increased mental illnesses. In general, most men prefer not to openly discuss their emotions or mental health issues, but it doesn’t mean that they are handling well on their own. It’s just a reflection of the self-stigma and society stigma associated with men looking for a therapist to discuss private matters and feeling incapable of dealing with their own emotions.
There is always help available. The ideas of what masculinity represents in our society have conditioned not only men but their communities to struggle to recognize the signs of mental illness in the male population.
The most common psychological disorders in men include but are not limited to:
HOW CAN THERAPY HELP MEN WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH:
Therapy can help men have a better understanding of who they are and be more in touch with their feelings and emotions without shame or guilt. Therapists create a safe space for clients to discover healthy ways to cope with depression, anxiety, physical conditions or any other life stressors that may affect their mental health.
Benefits from therapy that may be a game changer:
- Better self-awareness
- Better understanding of their emotions
- Anger management
- coping skills for anxiety and depression
- Improves relationships
- Enhances communicating skills
- Boosts self-esteem
- Builds resilience
- Improvements in physical health
- Promotes healthy understanding of masculinity
TYPES OF MALE-FRIENDLY THERAPY APPROACHES FOR MEN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): It focuses on a person’s feelings, emotions and thinking patterns. It discusses how negative thinking impacts client’s behaviors and mental health. Men can benefit from this approach by exploring their emotions more in depth and replacing negative thinking with positive behaviors.
- Psychotherapy: This type of therapy engages with client’s past and helps them discover underlying causes for negative thinking and behaviors. It focuses on the root causes of mental disorders while giving clients coping skills for improved mental health.
- Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy: In some cases, this approach, which relies on the methodology of mindfulness, can alleviate symptoms of stress and anxiety by focusing on breathing techniques and meditation. It may be an option for men who do not feel comfortable in traditional types of therapies.
Your mental health is a priority.
It’s time that we change the narrative that men do not need help. We are all equal parts of a society that needs all of us mentally fit to face our daily challenges together. Men should not suffer alone because we as a community cannot recognize the signs of depression or anxiety in them.
There is a strong transformative potential in therapy when addressing mental health issues faced by men. It’s time to challenge old narratives, stigmas and outdated concepts which exclude some groups from the benefits of having such valuable support such as therapy which can bring resilience into men’s emotional healing journey.
The new generations seem to understand that mental health is a vital part of our overall health and it should be treated as priority. This generational shift brings light to the importance of men embracing their freedom to express their feelings and to ask for help. By helping men manage their emotions, therapy can bring them from anger to insight.
None of us need to walk alone in our paths to emotional healing. There is nothing more human than feeling vulnerable and comfortable enough to receive love, support and connection. Stigmas and stereotypes prevent society from evolving to its best self.
Boys can cry. We can all cry. It’s natural, it’s beautiful and it’s healing.
Be kind. Be brave. Be well.
Always with love,
HELPFUL LINKS:
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services
Anxiety and Depression Association
Suicide and Crisis Line: Call 988 or text 988
DISCLAIMER:
The content of these webpages and blogs and information provided is for general information and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical or mental health condition. Seek professional help immediately if you are experiencing a mental health crisis or any other medical condition.